How to Pick Up Girls: The Power of ‘Yes’

Everyone, male or female, feels an important need to be consistent in the things they say, do and feel. If we’re flaky and liable to change at the drop of a hat what we believe or have promised, we know that people are likely to judge and mistrust us. This commonly felt sense of importance regarding the need to be consistent within ourselves can be exploited when attempting to seduce a woman. One seduction technique that makes use of this concept is called ‘The Power of Yes’.

Here’s a common scenario most men have experienced at some point or another in their lives. You find yourself talking to a girl, maybe you approached her and consciously started a conversion, or perhaps the chat began unplanned, naturally. Either way, you’re enjoying each other’s company. After a while, it dawns on you that you and the girl you’re talking to are going to have to go your separate ways pretty soon, which poses a slight dilemma: how can you make it so this isn’t the first and last time you two are together and instead arrange for it to progress into something further? The obvious route to take is to perform a ‘closer’.

A closer is when you make a conscious effort to get a girl’s number, swap both your numbers, arrange to meet up again soon, or otherwise cross that social “getting to know you” line. Thing is, you don’t want your closer to crash and burn, you want the girl to happily agree to whatever it is you suggest. So how can help ensure that happens? You use psychology, specifically, ‘The Power of Yes’ technique. The technique involves getting the girl you’re interacting with to give several positive ‘yes’ responses to your questions in quick succession. Doing so helps develop an internal sense of positivity in the female that carries over in her mind to when you perform the actual closer and tips the balance in the direction of agreement to your request or suggestion.

You can do this by using subtle and casual responses after she says things, like: “Really?” and “Do you?” Match your response to what she’s just said and ensure it takes the form of a question that you’re sure will prompt a ‘yes’ response from her. Getting between 3 and 6 of these positive responses is usually enough to allow the principle to work.

At the same time, avoid asking questions or saying things near the end of your conversation, just before you’re about to close, that could possibly evoke negative reactions or “no” responses from the female.

The reason this technique works so well is because of the natural human phenomenon mentioned at the start of this article – that people feel it’s important to be consistent and congruent in the things they say and the situation they’re in. After responding to you positively half a dozen times, a natural inclination is created in the female’s mind for saying ‘yes’ – she’s gotten used to it. When you finally suggest going for a bite to eat tomorrow or visiting that museum together you told her about, the most natural and consistent response in her mind is a responding “Yes!”…it just feels right.

Rachel Davis is the author of Conversation-King, a guide that teaches men how to attract and seduce women by mastering the art of verbal communication.